Pain: Understanding Pain, Grief, and Sorrow. The Emotions We’d Rather Keep at Bay.

Pain and Heartache are emotions we have all experienced at one point or another.  It is something that we can not get around no matter how hard we try.  When we experience disappointment or loss we feel distraught and often times depressed.

Some of us have experienced times in life so terrible that we didn’t think we could make it through.  I  have had tragedies that have caused me to want to give up and not go on.  Although I had supportive friends and family around, they could not soothe or take away the agony that I felt in those moments.

People are Uncomfortable with Sadness

People oftentimes do not know what to say and sometimes say things that can make matters worse. For example, with the loss of a child, many may say things like, “you’re young you can have another child”.  Well, yes you can do that, but it won’t bring back your deceased loved one.  These comments are not made with malevolent intent.  It’s just that, many people don’t know how to respond in those types of situations and are uncomfortable with sadness.

Then there are those who know exactly what to say,  but when you’re hurting and your soul is broken sometimes there is nothing that anyone can do or say.  In my case, I was aware of my depression and my lack of life, but no matter how many encouraging talks and well-wishers that I met there was just no healing.

Once I realize that my soul was broken and not healing I turn to God.  I asked him for help with healing because I just couldn’t do it on my own.  In my healing process, God helped me to understand why we experience life-altering events and such unbearable pain.  My faith helped me to heal.

Bad things happen to Good People

When we’re going through bad times we began to question ourselves.  We ask questions like “Why me?”  “What did I do to deserve this?”  “Doesn’t God love me?”  “Am I not worthy of being happy?”  “What’s wrong with me?”  These are just a few of the negative questions that are going through our minds at the time that we’re experiencing pain.

You haven’t done anything wrong.  You’re not being punished.  The thing is Bad things Happen to Good people.  The burden of pain is usually distributed unevenly or so we think, but we only experience things according to what we can handle at that time.  You may be further along in your journey than the next person.

The Experiences we go through are Lessons.

There is a lesson for you to learn from this painful experience.  You may not be able to see it now, but what you are going through is a lesson that is being presented to you as a life experience.

When you’re hurting in such a way, you are at your most vulnerable.  There is no room for pride, ego, or any other wall that would hold you back from what you’re feeling at that moment.  With your walls down you are able to see clearly and receive information.

Once you have made it through this time in your life,  you will come out on the other end having a new set of eyes.  You are now capable of ushering someone else through the same type of pain, whether it be through direct contact or as a walking inspiration to someone else. You can be of service to someone else in need.

The pain you have felt builds your character.

You must realize that what you have experienced is another ingredient in what makes you an exceptional person.  You now are equipped with another tool that you need to navigate through your life’s journey.

Everything you go through and learn, both good and bad, is building your character brick by brick.  Once you have laid down your foundation, it’s time to build a Frame, and then Walls, and so on and so forth until you have a completed house.

So does that mean that once your Character House is built your journey is over?  No, it does not.  All Character Houses need maintenance and must be maintained.

You are being prepared for your purpose in life.

It doesn’t matter if your experience is abuse,  infidelity,  death,  abandonment, or great positive experiences.  You need them all because you are being groomed for your life’s purpose.  The experiences you have will help you to become who you were meant to be.

Whether that’s a mother, foster parent, pastor, singer, police officer,  counselor, etc.  You will need all these experiences combined together to deal with every situation you come across.  Whatever that purpose is God is preparing you for it from day one and there are no amount of books that will prepare you better than personal experience.  You will have first-hand insight into those exact feelings and you can now relate to and share your own story with others.

Please remember if you are unable to cope on your own seek help.  My faith was a saving grace for me,  but if you need it,  seek counsel from your pastor, a licensed counselor,  or someone who can help you through this trying time.

photo credit: festivallatinidades Latinidades 2016 – Dia 1 | 26/07/2016 via photopin (license)