Selfish and in Love… Learning to be Selfless in your Relationship

Are you selfish and in love? 

Are you happy in your relationship? 

Are you getting everything you need in your relationship?

  If you answered yes to these questions, congratulations you’re lucky to have found someone willing to sacrifice and give you everything you need in a relationship.  Now here’s the last question,  are you doing the same for your partner or are you selfish and in love?

Being selfish and in a relationship is a problem that many couples have and a possible reason for one person being unhappy and ultimately leaving the relationship.  Commitment to your relationship should be 50/50.  You should not be getting everything you want because no two people are completely alike. 

There has to be give and take in a relationship.  So, you must ask yourself if you are getting your way all the time, is your partner always sacrificing his/her needs to make you happy? 

If you’re in a new relationship and you are reading this than you’re probably thinking that your partner is spoiling you and you’re ecstatic about it.  Well that’s great, but everyone puts their best foot forward when trying to impress a new love.  That’s just what the art of dating is. 

Eventually,  if you and your love decide to take things to the next level,  you will find that the courting period will change and life creeps in. (dun dun dum) Now what?

Now it’s time to work on your relationship skills. You can no longer be selfish and in love.  If you want things to work between the two of you, you must work at making it a give a take relationship.  

 Here are a few tips to help with the process.

Talking

Make a conscious effort to talk to your mate and make sure they are happy? Learn their likes and dislikes. Find out their thoughts on different issues.  What are their pet peeves? 

Don’t be afraid to dig deep.  Just because they may like something different or think differently,  doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.

Be Comforting

This is a must.  No one is happy 24/7.  Life and responsibilities won’t permit it.  Always be there for your mate when he/she needs you.

If you find that something is off or different, do your best to make him/her feel better.  Whether that’s turning off social media to listen, fixing him/her a hot bath,  holding him/her, or whatever it is that you know will make your partner feel better and stress-free. 

They need your attention. Give it to them

Intimacy

Ok, this one is very important.  There has to be intimacy in a relationship. 

Intimacy is the ability to be both physically and emotionally close to your partner.  If you are lacking in either your partner is suffering.

  You both should be able to let down your guard and express and share your inner most thoughts, secrets and feelings.  This is something that both of you should share. 

Physical closeness has also been found to be a human necessity.  Studies  show that infants who are not, held, rock, or cuddle with human touch fail to thrive.  They do not grow and thrive at the same rate that  infants who come into contact with human touch and emotion. 

As humans the touch and emotional presence of others is a need, and in relationships it is also a must.  You must create an environment for your mate to feel physically and emotionally close to you.

Sacrifice

Sacrifice is what you will find yourself doing a lot of the time in your relationship.  It’s not always about you.  In order for you to get what you need, you will have to make sure that your partner’s needs are being met.   When both of you are at 100% everyone wins.

It won’t always be an even 50/50 because sometimes your mate may be in a place where he/she just can’t do it.  It is then your job to pick up the slack as he/she will do the same for you when you’re not at your best. 

 Relationships take work, but when you’re Selfless and in Love it makes it a lot easier!

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