Marriage: 7 Tips to Keep the Spark.
Keeping the Spark in your Marriage takes work. Day to Day routines can get hectic and our relationships get put on the back burner. Because of this, the Spark that was once bright can turn into a small flicker. But, don’t stress…… these are 7 carefree tips that you can practice to bring that Spark back.
1. Kiss before you Walk out of the Door
Each morning before leaving home you should kiss your spouse. Kissing sends off signals that trigger our brains to release Serotonin, which affects our mood, Dopamine, which helps in our feelings of pleasure, and Oxytocin, which is responsible for our feelings of commitment and affection towards each other. This starts your morning off with an I love you and it’s a reminder of the intimacy that you share together as one. You are also, sending your love off to face the day with a token of the love that awaits he/she when they return home.
2. Continue to Date
Date your spouse. Once we are married and kids, careers, and increased responsibility come along we sometimes forget to make alone time with our spouse priority. You must make time for each other. At least 4 to 5 times a month should be scheduled for Date time. Take note that I said Date Time instead of Date Night. Your Date does not have to be at night. For those of you who can’t find babysitters, try scheduling lunch dates! Lunch Dates can be a meet up at your favorite restaurant or you can pack a lunch and meet each other in the park. It’s a great way around having to find a babysitter. Date while the kids are at school. Be creative.
3. Decorate the home with Pictures of your Memories
After being married for some time. We fall into a routine and live day-to-day on a schedule. This can, at times, lead to stress and irritability which can also spill over into arguments and negative energy between the two of you. In these moments memories of happier days can help. Put pictures up of the two of you having a great time together around your home. These pictures will evoke feelings of happiness and remind you of why you love each other. Always do your best to make memories together because in times of hardship you can always go back and reminisce on happier times. They are also good for conversation and reminders that its time to take a break and do something fun again.
4. Take Time out to Be Together and Talk about Nothing
Time together is very important to your relationship. As a couple you should take time out and talk about nothing. For instance what did you do at work today? What interesting thing happened to you on the way to work? Did you see the new viral video that everyone is talking about? You see, as couples we’re constantly talking about topics that are stressing and not care free, like the kids, bills, money, or achieving family goals. So, when you sit and talk about effortless things you’re giving each other the opportunity to vent, wind down, and get your mind away from thoughts that are stressful. And above all, you’re spending time together.
5. Your Bedroom should be Romantic
Keep your bedroom free of clutter or any distractions. Your bedroom should feel like a retreat from everything including the kids. This room should be a Kid-free zone. If your kids are in the bed with you, it is time to wean them. Your bedroom should be peaceful and calming, but most importantly romantic. Make your room romantic by having scented candles in the room and dem lighting options like lamps. Lamps create shadows and a beautiful soft glow in the room. Use Colors, the colors in the bedroom should be warm and inviting. You should feel relaxed and at ease when you walk in. Also, make sure that you have Music in the room. Nothing sets the mood like slow melodic music. Lastly, Turn the TV off or remove it from the bedroom all together. With no distractions like the TV the only thing left to focus on is each other.
6. Be Kid-Like Together
As adults we tend to lose our Funny. We become more serious and to the point about everything and rarely take time out to have fun. Couples that play together stay together. You should do things together that you enjoyed doing as a kid. Be silly together, don’t be afraid to enjoy things that you feel you’re now to old for. For example, go to an amusement park or a fair together without the kids, play cute little pranks on each other, or leave little love notes around the house. Tap into your inner child and hold on as tight as you can. You will be much happier than you have ever been. You owe yourselves carefree times full of fun and laughter.
7. Your Spouse comes First
Remember above all things your spouse comes first. First before your job, first before your worries, first before anything you may consider important. The two of you are a team and when one is down the other picks up the slack. If you put your spouse first and he/she does the same, life becomes much easier because you are making sure each others needs are met. When this happens the two of you feel more confident, secured, and stronger. You now have the support that you need to tackle anything. We all need a cheerleader in our corner and you need to make sure that as a couple you are supportive to one another.